I spent part of the morning on the phone, researching for some new material I'm hoping to write this weekend. I've got a dead body and I had no idea what to do with it until now...
I started with a local county hospital. Turns out, with suspected drunk driving accidents where there are no survivors, the cops have the Los Angeles County Coroner's Office perform an autopsy. So I called the L.A. County Coroner's Office at (323) 343-0512 and was on hold for more than 10 minutes before I hung up and called right back.

They said, depending on how busy the county coroner's office is, they can do the autopsy within 24 hours. Once they write their official report, the bodies can be released to the families. If the coroner's office doesn't have a family contact or if no one claims the body within 90 days, they send it to the Los Angeles County Morgue. So I called the L.A. County Morgue at (323) 226-7161 next.
The morgue said once they get the bodies, they schedule a cremation using an outside crematory they contract with. A family has 2 years to claim the ashes (at the price of $352 and this does not include the cost of an urn--instead, families get the ashes in what the morgue described as a "hard plastic container"). So I asked, "What if someone doesn't have $352 dollars?!"
Of course, the woman on the phone with the L.A. County Morgue must have thought I was crazy. She said the family has 2 whole years to get the money and pay for the ashes. I asked if someone could pay in installments, ya know, if they offered a payment plan but the woman said all money has to be paid all at once. Otherwise, the county owns the ashes since they pay the money upfront to have the body cremated. Imagine that! You have to buy back your relatives ashes!!!
So I asked again, "What if in two years, you still can't pay the $352 to retrieve the ashes?" The woman told me that the ashes are then buried in a mass burial with ALL the other unclaimed ashes. I asked how many this could typically be in 2 years and she referred me to the crematory they contract with. So I called them next at (323) 268-5111.
The man who answered the phone sounded like the Grim Reaper (if the Grim Reaper had a voice). Seriously! His voice was menacing. I asked him how many ashes are typically buried in the mass burial every 2 years and he said thousands. Then I asked him if a family couldn't afford to pay the $352 for the right to claim the ashes, could the family then attend the ceremony of this mass burial? The scary Grim Reaper guy said, no. There would just be too many families attending with all those bodies and they can't accommodate that many people at once.
So there you have it. I know exactly what I'm going to do with my dead body now. It was interesting to find out the process and also very sad to know that unclaimed ashes are buried by the city by the thousands.
One odd note, the Los Angeles County Coroner's office is the only coroner office in the country with a gift shop. A frickin' GIFT SHOP, people! There's a Boo-verly Hills Drive, a Pacific Ghost Hwy., and other madly lanes for tourists or those interested in dead bodies in Los Angeles. Check it out!
Now it's back to writing for me!
I started with a local county hospital. Turns out, with suspected drunk driving accidents where there are no survivors, the cops have the Los Angeles County Coroner's Office perform an autopsy. So I called the L.A. County Coroner's Office at (323) 343-0512 and was on hold for more than 10 minutes before I hung up and called right back.

They said, depending on how busy the county coroner's office is, they can do the autopsy within 24 hours. Once they write their official report, the bodies can be released to the families. If the coroner's office doesn't have a family contact or if no one claims the body within 90 days, they send it to the Los Angeles County Morgue. So I called the L.A. County Morgue at (323) 226-7161 next.
The morgue said once they get the bodies, they schedule a cremation using an outside crematory they contract with. A family has 2 years to claim the ashes (at the price of $352 and this does not include the cost of an urn--instead, families get the ashes in what the morgue described as a "hard plastic container"). So I asked, "What if someone doesn't have $352 dollars?!"
Of course, the woman on the phone with the L.A. County Morgue must have thought I was crazy. She said the family has 2 whole years to get the money and pay for the ashes. I asked if someone could pay in installments, ya know, if they offered a payment plan but the woman said all money has to be paid all at once. Otherwise, the county owns the ashes since they pay the money upfront to have the body cremated. Imagine that! You have to buy back your relatives ashes!!!
So I asked again, "What if in two years, you still can't pay the $352 to retrieve the ashes?" The woman told me that the ashes are then buried in a mass burial with ALL the other unclaimed ashes. I asked how many this could typically be in 2 years and she referred me to the crematory they contract with. So I called them next at (323) 268-5111.
The man who answered the phone sounded like the Grim Reaper (if the Grim Reaper had a voice). Seriously! His voice was menacing. I asked him how many ashes are typically buried in the mass burial every 2 years and he said thousands. Then I asked him if a family couldn't afford to pay the $352 for the right to claim the ashes, could the family then attend the ceremony of this mass burial? The scary Grim Reaper guy said, no. There would just be too many families attending with all those bodies and they can't accommodate that many people at once.
So there you have it. I know exactly what I'm going to do with my dead body now. It was interesting to find out the process and also very sad to know that unclaimed ashes are buried by the city by the thousands.
One odd note, the Los Angeles County Coroner's office is the only coroner office in the country with a gift shop. A frickin' GIFT SHOP, people! There's a Boo-verly Hills Drive, a Pacific Ghost Hwy., and other madly lanes for tourists or those interested in dead bodies in Los Angeles. Check it out!
Now it's back to writing for me!
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