Stephanie Denise Brown

I missed my garden while vacationing in Virginia the way a person misses her cat or dog or spouse or child.

Since I have none of those, I missed my garden. Things are growing so well that I think I need to build a new gardening box. That would also mean buying tons more of rich dirt from Home Depot. I just can't fathom the task of thinning the plants out (plant assassination). I'd like to give them all a chance but that's ridiculous. No one has that much space unless you're living on a plantation, which I'm not.

Ugh. So this week I plan to expand in some vegetable areas and thin back the lettuce because it's growing like crazy.

Part of me feels awful for not trusting the earth. I planted way more lettuce seeds than I probably should have because I didn't believe this many would take to the soil. Stupid me. The research I read didn't make lettuce sound so easy to grow but it's doing better than fine, only for now. If I don't do something soon, they'll all die. Not sure what to do but I've got to figure it out.

I'm also worried about the carrots. They look a little weak to me. The gardening articles I read said that onions and carrots are great companions so I sewed them a row away but maybe I didn't make enough room between the rows.

I was worried about the radishes. I noticed holes in their leaves. Some insects are eating them. Jade Park told me this doesn't affect the radishes, which made me feel better. The insects get to eat and later, so will I. Everyone wins.

The herbs are doing well. The mint is barely breaking through and the basil isn't ready for thinning yet. Still, I've got a major task with the lettuce and carrots. Just a few pics:

RADISH




ONIONS & CARROTS


TOMATO


SPINACH


SQUASH




LETTUCE


EGGPLANT

Hell yeah! I just graded the last mid term exam. I'm all packed for Virginia. I can't wait to see my friend Lori. I miss her! She has all kinds of adventures planned: driving to Philly, touring Monticello, dancing, attending a Bach music festival, fun fun fun.

Friends + me = happy

The only drawback--waking up early for the plane tomorrow.

Zzzz

After freaking out and being reassured by Jade Park that the radishes would be fine--I woke up this morning to garden goodness!












I have other thoughts about what gardening is teaching me, mainly that I worry too much but for now I will focus on the goodness of it all.

Things have been rocky for me these last six weeks. I've been wrestling with a lot of demons but I'm slowly working my way out of the tangled mess of my mind, my fears. So far, my fitness goals the first quarter of the year have been shot to hell.

That means I've got 3 quarters of the year left to turn it around. I'm not one of those who believes the first time you break a New Year's resolution that you should forget about it until next year. No, I'll keep trying. I'm that stubborn. Also, my doctor felt I needed to take a different approach to my fitness goals.

Getting stuck in a routine doesn't work for me. For about 6 months last year, I worked out regularly and lost quite a few pounds, which I gained back this year. This time, my doctor suggested that I focus less on fitness and more on being active and being healthy (more so in mind).

I joined a hiking group, but it's not a group of die-hards who would feel weighed down by beginners. We're all beginners and we learn together. There are only three of us right now, all women but I find it comforting to meet with them, talk with them, explore with them, and just walk in silence with them.

In addition to hiking, I've also taken up a new activity--gardening. Partly inspired by the desire to move my body more often, partly inspired by my grad schoolmate's, Jade Park, experiences with gardening first here, then here, and finally here, and partly inspired by what my writing process has been teaching me this year--to write slowly, to listen to my environment and what it's telling me.

I spent six hours in the garden today. It didn't seem like a lot while I was working until my back screamed at me during dinner tonight. Screamed in a good way, of course. "You remembered us!" my muscles thanked me.

I cleaned, prepped, planted, and then I freaked out, much like the way I write: What if I messed up? Did I leave something out?! Will this work???...and so on. I learned today that I can't worry about the end product. All I can do is pour my heart, pour my best into the process with all the love and enthusiasm I've got. What happens later is really out of my hands.

And so, today, I let go and enjoyed myself. I let all of yesterday's worries dry out beneath the sun. I got my fingers dirty because gardening gloves just get in the way. I laughed, brushed away the spiders when they lost their way on my arms, pressed the seeds into the soil a quarter inch deep, a half inch deep, sometimes 3 inches deep; and each time I went into the earth I also went inside of myself to plant the things I've been denying myself lately: love, support, encouragement. "You are capable," the wind whispered.

Yes, I am. I am capable of great things and best of all--everyone on this earth is capable of the same thing. So, it is with great pride that I display my plots. Whether they grow or not is not the point because then I'd be missing the best discovery of all: I am capable.

I planted eggplant, tomato, basil, cucumber, radish, lettuce, spinach, and squash. ( Pictures beneath the cut )

I also planted mint, which freaked me out once I found out they're greedy with space. Who new something so sweet could be so sneaky? Luckily Jade Park reminded me that I can keep them under control by plucking them when they sprout. My mom planted onions, carrots, thyme, and parsley.

Tomorrow, I'm going to work in the garden again to plant brussels sprouts, artichoke, and bell pepper.

The earth is good.

I'm slowly reading Laleh Khadivi's The Age of Orphans not only because I'm a turtle but because I like to study an author's language. If you haven't picked up The Age of Orphans then I encourage you to do so NOW.

Reading her novel reminds me that language is not a collection of crude words. Language does not only serve a particular character's voice, a novel's plot. Language in its varied forms is an extension of music. There is only ONE common way to read music--through notes. Music is our shared human language. Before there were words--there existed sounds, grunts, shrieks. From these sounds came beats and rhythm, perhaps inspired by the earth.

In Laleh's novel I'm reminded that as human beings, we belong to one earth. The language of our earth is music, often sharp; as human beings we live in varied registers, keys, and pitches; we share with one another at different frequencies.

Needless to say, she inspires me. I've been working on my WIP slowly. Painstakingly, I attempt to write in the rhythm of this human existence for any less would be useless.

I will be teaching and can't sign up for tickets but others on my friend list might be interested in going. That's the thing about teaching at a college--there's no such thing as a substitute teacher. I'm bummed. :( :( :(

President Obama will hold a town hall meeting in Downtown Los Angeles. You've got to fill out the form by 12 PM PST so hurry!

http://www.whitehouse.gov/latownhall/

I just saw "Let the Right One In." If you haven't seen this Swedish horror film, then rent it soon! It's bleak yet beautiful and haunting in a way that its characters linger after you've finished their story.

(I can't speak for the novel because I haven't read it yet. Looking forward to doing that soon.)

Even I could beat Michael Steele in a freestyle battle. I would enjoy watching Stephen Colbert do the same.

I hit the ground running this morning. Sundays are my days to prepare for the work and classes ahead. I'm posting an entry on my journal, hoping one or more of you can help me with a lesson plan problem.

My Composition I class already read the chapter on writing definition essays. I lectured and provided a topic for their papers. (Usually, I give them 1 of 4 choices for an essay topic but for the definition essay, part of the lesson comes from seeing how everyone defines the same topic in different ways.)

The topic that all of my students have to discuss in their papers: What is the meaning of Happiness?

It will be interesting to see how each defines this differently. They must use outside sources, such as the movie I plan to show in class next week.

Here's where I need help: does anyone know about any movies where happiness is a theme? It can be a dramatic movie, a comedy, an animated film. I'm open to suggestions.

I planned to use "The Pursuit of Happyness" with Will Smith (thinking that most of my students hadn't seen it since they're 18-19 years old) but half the class has seen this movie already.

I'd like some other suggestions, if possible. I'll be doing some searches today to see what else I can find online. Thanks for any suggestions!

This Valentine's Day, I had an awesome friend, stinglikeabee, to hang with and I've never had so much fun. Seriously, the last time I had that much fun, I was at the Exploratorium in San Francisco with my friends Lori and Judy.

stinglikeabee took me to The Huntington in San Marino for birthday/Valentine's Day celebrations. I'm so lucky to know people who are as kind and good as her. She's so smart. I learn so much just by listening to her talk enthusiastically about writing, comics and manga, the movie and entertainment industry, etc. That's what I love about my friends: each person is so unique! I'm lucky to know them.

Well, I'd never heard of The Huntington until stinglikeabee told me about it; I've lived in SoCal nearly all my life but I'd never been to this historic landmark. With over 120 acres of gardens, museum/mansion, an art gallery and various exhibitions, we spent the entire day learning, walking, exploring, talking, and laughing.

Here are some photos from the trip (I could only upload 40 or so to flickr):


We left The Huntington at 4:30 p.m. and headed straight for Zankou Chicken. Ohhhh, the food was so good! I've got hummus left over, which I spread on my lunch sandwich today. I can't wait to go back. After stuffing our faces with yummy food, we stopped by the comics store next door.

I browsed around and took a look at a manga selection stinglikeabee recommended. After reading the first dozen or so pages, I was hooked so I had to buy it: Me and the Devil Blues: The Unreal Life of Robert Johnson by Akira Hiramoto.

Then we headed to Vroman's Bookstore because there was a "singles mixer" and I wanted to use a gift card that someone had given me nearly a year ago. Vroman's is an awesome place and if it were closer to the South Bay, I'd shop there more often. They had a great selection of new books! I saw my fiction teacher's book on display, The Vagrants. (As I type this, I realize that I should have taken a picture of it for her. Darn!) The poetry section was okay. I couldn't find the Gregory Orr collection that I want so I'll have to use my B&N gift card to get it.

Once I picked my selections and stinglikeabee got some coffee, we realized that there weren't many singles mixing around. We asked one of the employees about it and found out that we were at the wrong location. LOL!!! She gave us directions to where the party was at but stinglikeabee and I both looked at each other with that same look, "Ain't gonna happen." Oh well, as she says, "it was their loss" that we didn't show up. :)

What an awesome holiday weekend! I can't wait to go again!